New Year's Eve Eve ...

We decided to go to the grave today, because it's supposed to be COLD tomorrow. Today it was nearly 50, but oh my goodness, it was windy and so that made it COLD. Just like I did for Christmas I bought balloons. This time I made sure they tied the balloons tight. Unfortunately, because it was so windy and the grass is so dead and hard two of the latex ballons popped before we left. We did confetti poppers and throw glittery confetti. It felt so right, to "party" there. I wish I would have gotten noise makers, though. Next year for sure.
I was hoping her gravestone would have been there. They said it takes 2 months and today is barely 4 weeks. But I was hopeful. It should be there for Valentine's. I can't wait to see it.
Happy New Year's Mom. You're missed!!

One month ...

It's been one month today. This day was harder for me to get through than Christmas. I feel so lonely, so empty. My best friend is gone from this earth.

I miss you mom.

Mickey Tree ...

We went out to the grave this afternoon. It's been the first time we've been out there since the day of the funeral. I had gotten a balloon bouquet but the person at Zurcher's failed to tie the balloons to the weight properly and they blew away before I could get a picture. We all watched as the balloons got smaller and smaller, and hopefully closer and closer to my mom. The Mickey tree is teeny tiny. Only a foot tall. But it's so darling, and so my mom. I am going to go back on Monday morning to get it and use it again next year. I hope no one walks away with it. Since it's Christmas Eve and the grave is so far from the road I don't think many people will see it's cuteness and swipe. At least I hope not.
Tomorrow will be the first holiday without my mom. None of us have really been in much of a festive mood. I just want it to be done with. If we didn't even have the yearly family gathering at my Gram's house I would be fine, I wouldn't care. I hope the day goes by fast.

Engagement ...

Jordan got engaged today. I don't even know the girl. The first time I even saw here was the night of my mom's viewing. Don't know what to think. I just want Jordan to be happy, but I don't want him rushing into something he'll regret.

If the wedding does happen it'll be the first of my mom's grandchildren ... she'll never physically be at any of the grandchildren's weddings. That makes me so sad.

I miss her. So much.

Carrying on without mom ...

This evening we went to Winder Dairy for scones and chocolate milk. Then we went looking at lights afterwards. It was sad not having my mom there. She was missed. We talked about her, remembering years past. I hope we can always include this tradition into our future Christmas activites.

Last night my Gram, Alli and I went to Thanksgiving point to see the lights there. It's a drive thru display, and we all enjoyed it. But we all talked about how it doesn't seem like Christmas, simply because none of us are really in the mood. I hope next year will be different.

Will blog soon